She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
