I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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