First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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