I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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