So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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