So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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