I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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