I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
