Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
