She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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