I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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