I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize