I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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