i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
