Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Randomize
