She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
