Do you still have your period?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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