There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
