Will you blow on my dice?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
