Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
