why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
