maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
