i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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