Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
