there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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