Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Please don't give away my fajitas
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
