I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
