I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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