he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
