my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
