It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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