no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
