So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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