is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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