My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
