its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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