Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
