I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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