that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
