I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
