Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
