You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Randomize
