I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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