Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
