Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
