Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
