i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
