he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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