careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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