once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
