Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
